


Clone Wars: ChatFic

by StefiniaQueen



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: The Clone Wars (2008) - All Media Types
Genre: Clone Troopers - Freeform, Clone Wars, Jedi, Other, Star Wars - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-07-07
Updated: 2020-12-24
Packaged: 2021-03-05 00:22:23
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 11
Words: 11,216
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25135342
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/StefiniaQueen/pseuds/StefiniaQueen
Summary: A ChatFic where the Clones and their generals (and some other familiar names) have a bit of fun in some chat groups.There is Rexsoka, Anidala, Codywan and Blaya.Hope you enjoy!Stefinia Queen xoxo
Relationships: CC-2224 | Cody/Obi-Wan Kenobi, CC-5052 | Bly/Aayla Secura, CT-7567 | Rex/Ahsoka Tano
Comments: 73
Kudos: 382





	1. Chapter One

**ARC-5555** _created a group chat_

 **ARC-5555** _changed the group chat name to_ **The 5 (Wooh) 1 st**

 **ARC-5555** _added_ **CT-7567** , **CT-6116** , **CT-5597** , **ARC-1409** , **CT-5385** , **CT-8008** , **CT-9642** , **General Skywalker** , **Commander Tano**

 **ARC-5555** _changed their name to_ **A Five Is Speaking**

**A Five Is Speaking** : Sup peeps!

 **ARC-1409** : Wow. I can’t believe you actually did it

 **CT-7567** : Fives. What. Is. This?

 **A Five Is Speaking** : It’s a chat sir

 **CT-7567** : I can see that. But why?

 **A Five Is Speaking** : Why not?

 **CT-7567** : Fair

 **A Five Is Speaking** : Does that mean we can keep it?

**CT-7567** _changed their name to_ **Rex**

**Rex** : Yes, I suppose you can keep it

 **A Fives Is Speaking** : YES!

 **A Fives Is Speaking** : I mean thank you sir

 **ARC-1490** : Uh huh sure

**A Fives Is Speaking** _changed_ **ARC-1490** _to_ **Echolocation**

**Echolocation** : Hey

**A Five Is Speaking** _changed_ **CT-6116** _to_ **PumpedUpKix**

 **A Fives Is Speaking** _changed_ **CT-5597** _to_ **Cog**

 **A Fives Is Speaking** _changed_ **CT-5385** _to_ **Tupperware**

 **A Fives Is Speaking** _changed_ **CT-8008** _to_ **SQUIRRLE**

 **A Fives Is Speaking** _changed_ **CT-9642** _to_ **PartyPooper**

**A Fives Is Speaking** : There, that’s better

 **Echolocation** : Speak for yourself

 **A Fives Is Speaking** : I did

 **Echolocation** : *facepalm*

 **A Five Is Speaking** : srsly?

 **Rex** : Enough please you two

 **Echolocation** : yes sir sorry sir

 **A Five Is Speaking** : okay :(

 **Echolocation** : Fives!

 **Cog** : What the kriff is this?

 **A Five Is Speaking** : it’s a chat

 **Cog** : okay…

 **Cog** : why is my name cog?

 **A Five Is Speaking** : have you seen your face?

 **Cog** : UHFJNWSIOISWU

 **Cog** : rUDe

 **Echolocation** : he’s not wrong tho

 **Cog** : I thought you were supposed to be the good brother

 **Rex** : they’re as bad as each other

 **Echolocation** : hey, that’s not fair. Im not that bad!

 **Rex** : no, your right. No ones as bad as Fives

 **A Fives Is Speaking** : sir!

**Rex** _changed_ **Echolocation** _to_ **Rex’s Favourite**

 **Rex** _changed_ **A Fives Is Speaking** _to_ **Not Rex’s Favourite**

**Not Rex’s Favourite** : INCEBPUEHINQJUSB

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : THAT’S NOT FAIR!

 **Rex** : lifes not fair Fives, get over it

 **Rex’s Favourite** : :)

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : :(

 **Commander Tano** : uh…

 **Commander Tano** : I don’t wanna know

 **Rex** : Commander, sir. I didn’t know you were invited

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : Suck up

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : Also, REXSHOKA!

 **Cog** : Captain’s stood at attention when the Commander entered the chat! Hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah

 **Cog** : 3uiijdoj3ie88yr983yhueubf HELP ME!

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : HE’S AFTER ME TOO!

 **General Skywalker** : Rex, leave Jesse and Fives alone

 **General Skywalker** : and what is Rexsoka?

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : nothing…

 **Rex** : ITS NOTHING SIR, I SWEAR. NOTHING!

**General Skywalker** _changed_ **Rex** _to_ **REXtra**

**REXtra** : Sir, why?

 **General Skywalker** : coz you’re so extra. Look at them capital letters

**SQUIRRLE** : hey guys. What I miss?

 **SQUIRRLE** : nvm

 **SQUIRRLE** : hello

 **SQUIRRLE** : anyone

 **SQUIRRLE** : HEY. Why is my name squirrel

 **PartyPooper** : because of your attention span. Now. Go. The. Kriff. To. Sleep.

 **SQUIRRLE:** hahahahahahahahahahahah. Your name. look at your name

 **PartyPooper** : that’s precisely the point

 **PartyPooper** : HEY UHEDIEIDIEHIHEID. I AM NOT A PARTY POOPER

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : Party Pooper

 **PartyPooper** : UHDUIEUDWBBHJWISJWJSI

 **SQUIRRLE:** rip Fives


	2. Chapter Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello ladies, gentlemen and those that are non-binary  
> Here is the next chapter  
> I hope you enjoy  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Not Rex’s Favourite** : I’m baaaaack!

 **SQUIRRLE** : that sounded so gay in my head

 **SQUIRRLE** : not that theres anything wrong with gay Fives

 **SQUIRRLE** : also…

 **SQUIRRLE** : yay! Youre still alive!

 **Rex’s Favourite** : He nearly wasn’t tho. Captain had to practically pry Dogma off him. It was a sight to behold.

 **PumpedUpKix** : FIVES! I DID NOT SAY YOU COULD LEAVE THE MED BAY!

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : you also didn’t say I couldn’t

 **PumpedUpKix** : GET YOUR ARSE BACK IN THE MED BAY NOW, OR SO HELP ME MAKER I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN AND BREAK EVERY SINGLE BONE IN YOUR BODY WHILE I NAME THEM

 **REXtra** : I would get down there if I were you Fives. I have no control over him when he’s like this

 **Not Rex’s Favourite** : yes sir. On my way

**REXtra** _changed_ **Not Rex’s Favourite** _to_ **Dumbass**

**Dumbass** : hey, what was that for?

 **REXtra** : are you in the med bay yet Fives?

 **Dumbass** : no…

 **REXtra** : then what are you waiting you then. Get moving

**Tupperware** : wow

 **Tupperware** : I-I just I have nothing

 **SQUIRRLE** : Tup’ika!!!!!!!!!!

 **Tupperware** : ori’vod!!!!!!!

 **SQUIRRLE** : can I ask you a question?

 **Cog** : you just did ask a question vod

 **SQUIRRLE** : I don’t like you any more Jesse

 **Cog** : I was just saying…

**SQUIRRLE** _changed_ **Cog** _to_ **CaptainObvious**

**CaptainObvious** : HARDCASE!

 **Tupperware** : Hardcase, what did you want to ask me?

 **SQUIRRLE** : pwease may I do something with your hair…

 **SQUIRRLE** : its really soft and fluffy and nice to touch and I don’t know I just really wanna braid it or brush it or something…

 **Tupperware** : I would like that…

 **SQUIRRLE** : I love you Tup’ika

 **Tupperware** : love you too ori’vod

* * *

**CC-2224** _created a group chat_

 **CC-2224** _changed the group chat name to_ **Batch Plus Rex**

 **CC-2224** _added_ **CC-3636** , **CC-5052** , **CC-1010** , **CC-6454** , **CT-7567**

**CC-1010** : what is the meaning of this?

 **CC-3636** : I have no idea

 **CC-1010** : REX WHAT DOES CODY THINK HE IS DOING

 **CT-7567** : why are you not asleep?

 **CC-1010** : coz the chancellor cant be asked to do his own paper work. I have been trying to forge his signature for the 38 hours

 **CC-3636** : you haven’t slept in nearly two days?

 **CC-1010** : your one to talk, your up too

 **CC-3636** : it’s the middle of the day where I am. Whats your excuse Rex?

 **CT-7567** : Fives is refusing to go to the med bay and im currently distracting Jesse from attacking from attacking Hardcase while he’s braiding Tup’s hair

 **CC-6454** : Does anyone find it ironic that Cody made this chat and he hasn’t even been on it yet

 **CC-6454** : also can you all change your names the numbers are hurting my eyes.

 **CC-1010** : you do it. Im busy. Surprise me

 **CC-36363** : what he said

 **CC-6454:** welp. You asked for it

**CC-6454** _changed_ **CC-1010** _to_ **Foxy Foxy**

 **CC-6454** _changed_ **CC-3636** _to_ **The Ferrell One**

 **CC-6454** _changed_ **CT-7567** _to_ **T-rex**

 **CC-6454** _changed_ **CC-5052** _to_ **Bly Bly Butterfly**

 **CC-6454** _changed_ **CC-2224** _to_ **Kote**

 **Kote** _changed_ **CC-6454** _to_ **Froggo**

**Froggo** : Hey!

 **The Ferrell One** : that was one time

 **Foxy Foxy** : mmmmm. You took a chunk out of a trainers arm when we were three because you didn’t want to go to sleep. You spent two hours chasing Ponds around our barracks trying to claw his eyes out because he took your “Blankie”. You kicked Cody off of your TOP bunk because he wanted to cuddle after he had a nightmare. You also bit Rex after Cody kidnapped him and you claimed it was because he needed “to be initiated” into our group. There is also that rumour going around that you bite any shiny that looks at you the wrong way.

 **T-Rex** : so that’s what that mark was…

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : you don’t remember that?

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : you cried about it for days

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : you made Wolffe cry too, he was so upset at the fact that he thought he hurt you.

 **The Ferrell One** : IJEIWJIHIWKPWPJDBWI

 **The Ferrell One** : No fair, everyone else cried too. Sad Rex’ika is upsetting to see even now. Im like 90% sure we would ALL cry if we witnessed Rex’ika crying.

 **Froggo** : are we gonna ignore the fact that the only activity Cody has had on this chat was to change my name to insult me?

 **Kote** : yes, yes they are

 **Froggo** : IJSIWDINDKOWJDINEJFF

* * *

**Dumbass** : does anyone know why the captain is laughing so hard his eyes are leaking?

 **Dumbass** : its really starting to freak me out

 **Rex’s Favourite** : Whatever it is, Fives. Its clearly none of your business otherwise he would have told you.

 **General Skywalker** : that’s true, but I want to know too. It is rather creepy. Ive never seen him laugh so much

 **Commander Tano** : let him be guys. Hes as relaxed as relaxed as hes been in a while

 **CaptainObvious** : ooooooooohhhhh

 **Dumbass** : and you would know that how Commander?

 **SQUIRRLE** : rexsoka?

 **Dumbass** : yes, my vod. Rexsoka indeed

 **General Skywalker** : Snips? Whats that?

 **Commander Tano** : I have absolutely no idea

**General Skywalker** _changed_ **Commander Tano** _to_ **parSNIPS**

 **ParSNIPS** _changed_ **General Skywalker** _to_ **Skyguy**

**Skyguy** : @REXtra are you okay over there?

 **parSNIPS:** youre literally sitting across the room from him. Why do you need to message on here.

 **REXtra** : yes, sir. Im okay

 **Skyguy** : you sure. You sound like you’re dying over there

 **parSNIPS:** rex?

 **ParSNIPS** : Rexter, you still alive over there?

 **Skyguy** : we wont be hearing from Rex for a while. Kix had to take him away.

 **Skyguy** : he fell on the floor laughing and couldn’t get up because he was having trouble breathing.

 **CaptainObvious** : okay. Now I really want to know what was so funny


	3. Chapter Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone  
> Here's another chapter  
> Hope you enjoy  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Froggo** : @Kote THIS IS YOUR CHAT. WHY ARENT YOU USING IT?

 **Froggo** : also, I saw Fox earlier. Is he okay?

 **Foxy Foxy** : I have never been better. Iam abdilutily Fine;;;;;;;;;

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : he’s not okay is he?

 **Foxy Foxy** : FFFFIIINNNNNNNEEEEEEEE, I AM

 **T-Rex** : hes not okay.

**Kote** _changed_ **Foxy Foxy** _to_ **Yoda Impersonator**

**Yoda Impersonator** : HEy whu di tou do thay?

 **T-Rex** : how much have you had to drink Fox?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : AN ALCOHOLIC, I AM NOT

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : first off, no one said that

 **Bly Bly Butterly** : secondly. Yes, yes you are Fox

 **T-Rex** : right that’s it. Im coming over. DO. NOT. MOVE!

 **Yoda Impersonator** : okay, fine :( 

**Yoda Impersonator** :

 **Yoda Impersonator** : .

 **Froggo** : uh, okay…?

* * *

**REXtra** : I need to make a visit to see Fox.

 **REXtra** : please behave. If you cant behave be careful and for the love of the maker don’t get caught doing anything you shouldn’t be doing

 **Tupperware** : yes sir

 **CaptainObvious** : cool. Question, does that apply to the general and the commander to?

 **REXtra** : yes it does

 **PartyPooper** : sir yes sir

 **SQUIRRLE** : we can do anything we want if we don’t get caught

 **REXtra** : im going to pretend I didn’t see that Hardcase

 **Rex’s Favourite** : good luck sir

 **parSNIPS** : is there any reason in particular that youre going to see Fox?

 **parSNIPS** : anything I can help with?

 **Dumbass** : yeah, sure. Then you can go out for a few drinks together, get drunk and confess your undying love for each other

 **parSNIPS** : …

 **REXtra** : FIVES. THAT IS EXTREAMILY INNAPROPRIATE OF YOU.

 **REXtra** : I would never do something like its against regs and the jedi code and it would put both of us in trouble if we where caught not that its to say I don’t like Ahsoka I do shes kind and funny and beautiful and smart and strong and beautiful and shes got really soft beautiful skin and shes beautiful and

 **REXtra** : im leaving now

 **parSNIPS** : um…okay…thank you?

 **Dumbass** : MY SHIP HAS SAILED! REXSOKA FOR LIVE!

 **SQUIRRLE** : hey, since the captains gone. Do you guys wanna play truth or dare

 **PartyPooper** : absolutely not

 **Skyguy** : yep, im down for that!

 **Skyguy** : this is gonna be sooooooooooo fun

 **Rex’s Favourite** : so immature. But do you know what, im feeling dangerous today. I’ll play

 **Dumbass** : count me IN

 **CaptainObvious** : heck yeah!

 **Tupperware** : um… okay. I guess I’ll play too…

 **PumpedUpKix** : ah, what the hell. Might as well

 **Skyguy** : Snips?

 **Skyguy** : are you playing?

 **Skyguy** : @parSNIPS ?

 **parSNIPS** : ugh, fine I’ll play

 **Skyguy** : yay! I’ll go first

 **Skyguy** : Hardcase. Truth or dare

 **SQUIRRLE** : dare

 **Skyguy** : I dare you to go up to the jedi temple, find Obi-Wan and pester him about Cody

 **SQUIRRLE** : okay

**SQUIRRLE** : that was easy

 **Skyguy** : what did he do?

 **SQUIRRLE** : his face went red and he kept walking away from me

 **SQUIRRLE** : eventually I got bored and left

 **SQUIRRLE** : Jesse. Truth or dare

 **CaptainObvious** : truth

 **SQUIRRLE** : is it true that when we were cadets you used spend almost every night in the bed as Kix because you were afraid of the dark

 **CaptainObvious** : you know the answer to that, you were there!

 **SQUIRRLE** : I know, but I want everyone else to know too

 **CaptainObvious** : yes, okay. Its true, whatever.

 **CaptainObvious** : general, truth or dare

 **Skyguy** : dare

 **CaptainObvious** : I dare you to shave your hair

 **Skyguy** : okay. Consider it done

 **Skyguy** : Fives truth or dare

 **Dumbass** : dare

 **Skyguy** : I dare you to break into the wolfpacks barracks and steel Wolffe’s spare eye

 **Dumbass** : weird but I’ll do it

 **Rex’s Favourite** : youre gonna die if you get caught

 **Skyguy** : oh, and paint ‘woof woof’ on the wall above his bed in that blue paint you use to decorate your armour with

 **PumpedUpKix** : great now we’re all gonna die

 **SQUIRRLE** : death by wolfpack hahahhahhahaha

 **PartyPooper** : I don’t know why you’re laughing, you’re going to die as well dumbass

**CaptainObvious** _changed_ **SQUIRRLE** _to_ **Dumbass2**

**Skyguy** : so…

 **Skyguy** : are you gonna do it?

 **Dumbass** : might as well

 **Dumbass** : it’ll be fun

 **PumpedUpKix** : if he beats you, I will not patch you up. I will not even let you anywhere near the things you need to patch yourself up.

 **Dumbass** : Fair

 **Rex’s Favourite** : fair

 **Tupperware** : fair

 **Skyguy** : fair

 **Dumbass2** : fair

 **CaptainObvious** : Fair

 **parSNIPS** : fair

* * *

**The Ferrell One** : IJDUHWUDUBYDKKIKE

 **The Ferrell One** : REX!

 **The Ferrell One** : the next time I see your men, they’re dead!

 **Froggo** : what did they do this time?

 **The Ferrell One** : they stole my spare eye and painted ‘woof woof’ a wall in my room

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : hahahahhahahah they got you good

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : one of you remind me I have to congratulate them when I next see them

 **Froggo** : @T-Rex @Yoda Impersonator

 **Froggo** : you guys still alive?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : yish. Fine is we

 **T-Rex** : WHat he Said HEHHEHEHEH HAHAHAHAHAH

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : you were supposed to stop him, not join him you di’kut

 **T-Rex** : oh well

 **The Ferrell One** : your men are so childish

 **T-Rex** : a( not new NEWws, 2( why did they do this Time?

 **Froggo** : read the chat Rex’ika

 **T-Rex** : oh, thry ifd that huh

 **T-Rex** : fair enough

* * *

**Dumbass** : I did it!

 **REXtra** : Woofle said he gonna die you with his pew pew thingy

 **Dumbass** : uh, captain.

 **Dumbass** : are okay?

 **REXtra** : went yo StOP.

 **REXtra** : foxy dwinking bad tings

 **CaptainObvious** : that explains a lot

 **REXtra** : anD I THOUght I Tolf YOU NOt to get caught

 **Dumbass** : eh oh well


	4. Chapter Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello friends  
> Here is another chapter for all you lovely people  
> Hope you enjoy!  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Dumbass** : so… I think that makes it my go now?

 **REXtra** : what makes what your go?

 **Dumbass** : truth or dare

 **REXtra** : so that’s what you were playing when you stole Wolffe’s eye

 **Dumbass** : yes, but the general dared me to do it, so technically I was just following orders…

 **Dumbass** : and you were clearly too drunk to remember?

 **REXtra** : Wollfe wont let me forget about it

 **Dumbass** : oh…

 **Dumbass** : you wanna play with us captain?

 **REXtra** : uh… is commander Tano playing?

 **parSNIPS** : firstly, yes I am playing

 **parSNIPS** : secondly, yes you are playing

 **Dumbass** : great!

 **Dumbass** : @CaptainObvious thruth or dare

 **CaptainObvious** : I suppose I’ll go with dare

 **Dumbass** : I dare you to write a love letter to general Kenobi form commander Cody

 **CaptainObvious** : okay… I’ll do it

* * *

**Bly Bly Butterfly** : hey Wolffe you get your eye back yet?

 **The Ferrell One** : No. I. Did. Not.

 **Froggo** : oosh, what are you going to do to them?

 **The Ferrell One** : I cant do anything. I’m currently in the outer-rim

 **The Ferrell One** : however, I was wondering if Fox could arrest them for theft and or breaking and entering?

 **The Ferrell One** : what do you say @Yoda Impersonator

 **Yoda Impersonator** : wish I could vod, but clones don’t have rights remember. you are property, a weapon and therefore an object. And how many objects do you see walking down to see me to report a crime that has been committed against them? I know I’ve never seen it before

 **Froggo** : unless you were drunk off your shebs?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : I hilusinated it that one time

 **Yoda Impersonator** : *hilucinated

 **Yoda Impersonator** : *hallusinated

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : hallucinated?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : hallucinated

 **The Ferrell One** : I suppose I’ll just have to kill them slowly and painfully when I next see them then

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** _changed_ **The Ferrell One** _to_ **You Poor Thing**

**You Poor Thing** : gee thanks

* * *

**CaptainObvious** : Dear Obi-Wan,

Will you be the peanut butter to my jelly

Will you be the butterflies I feel in my belly

If you are my general

Can I be your first mate

Will you be the chills that I feel on our first date

Will you be my hero

So I can be your sidekick

Will you be the tear that I cry if we ever split

Will you be the rain from the cloud when its storming

And will you be the sun when it shines in the morning?

Will you be the prince so I can be the princess

Will be the sweet tooth so I can be the dentist

Will you be the shoes so I can be the laces

Will you be the heart that I spill on the pages

Will be the vodka so I can be the chaser

Will you be the pencil so I can be the paper?

You can be as cold as the winter weather

But I don’t care as long as we’re together

Cause you’re the apple to my pie

You’re the straw to my berry

You’re the smoke to my high

You’re the one I want to marry

Cause you’re the one for me

And I’d like to think that I’m the one for you

If you take the both the both of us

Then we’d be the perfect two

I love you!

Forever yours,

Cody

xx 

**Dumbass 2** : wow I didn’t know you had it in you vod

 **Tupperware** : he didn’t write it, he adapted it from a song he found on the holonet

 **CaptainObvious** : hey L, I thought we were supposed to be friends

 **Tupperware** : we are. And it is my duty as your friend to make sure that you don’t get picked on for being a sappy sod

 **Dumbass** : okay, now you have to write it up and slide it under the generals door

 **CaptainObvious** : FINE

 **CaptainObvious** : Tup truth or dare

 **Tupperware** : truth

 **CaptainObvious** : is it true that you got your name from breaking every plate or blow you touched on Kamino

 **Tupperware** : you didn’t know? Everyone already knows that

 **Tupperware** : captain, truth or dare

 **REXtra** : I guess I’ll go with dare.

 **REXtra** : although something is telling me I’m going to regret this

 **Tupperware** : I dare you to let Fives your go

 **REXtra** : not as bad as I thought it was going to be. consider it done

 **Dumbass** : commader Tano truth or dare

 **parSNIPS** : dare

 **Dumbass** : I dare you kiss the captain on the lips and let Hardcase take a picture for proof

 **REXtra** : Fives you’re going to regret this!

 **Dumbass2** :

There, I got it!

 **Dumbass** : wow rexsoka is real. Commander, your turn!

 **parSNIPS** : Skyguy, truth or dare

 **Skyguy** : truth

 **parSNIPS** : new but okay. Is it true that you and Senator Amidala are married?

 **Skyguy** : what!? No! of course not, how could you think I’d do such a thing

 **parSNIPS** : well the fact you act different around her, and you always slip up on how you address you. Oh and there’s also, this:

**Skyguy** : okay, yes. We’re married. Are you happy now?

 **Skyguy** : tell anyone about this and I will end all of your lives. Do I make myself clear?

 **REXtra** : loud and clear, sir

 **Skyguy** : oh and Rex, I want have a word with you. Privately. About that little stunt you pulled with Ahsoka earlier

 **REXtra** : um… yes sir

**Kote** : Rex, are your boys playing truth or dare?

 **T-Rex** : maybe, why?

 **Kote** : well, first Wolffe’s eye goes missing and then general Kenobi approaches me about a love letter I wrote to him in handwriting that looks suspiciously like Jesse’s

 **T-Rex** : I… had nothing… to do with it?

 **Kote** : … sure. Just make sure they know that there is line forming for people who want to beat their shebs

 **T-Rex** : will do

 **Yoda Impersonator** : we are not people. We are property. We do not have rights. We are things

 **Froggo** : youre not still going on about this, are you?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : maybe… hey! Look what I found

 **Yoda Impersonator** :

**Froggo** : oh dear. That’s ju-just…

 **Kote** : wrong?

 **Froggo** : yeah

 **You Poor Thing** : bahahahahah look at his face in the last picture! Its hilarious!


	5. Chapter Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello all of you lovely people,  
> Sorry it took so long but here is the next chapter  
> Hope you enjoy  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Kote** : um…

 **Froggo** : yes…?

 **Kote** : …

 **Yoda Impersonator** : …?

 **Kote** :

 **Kote** :

 **Froggo** :

 **Yoda Impersonator** :

 **Kote** : I…

 **Yoda Impersonator** : you…?

 **Kote** : I…

 **Froggo** : yeah…

* * *

**REXtra** : have any of you see Cody

 **CaptainObvious** : no, sir

 **Dumbass2** : no sir

 **Tupperware** : no, sir

 **PartyPooper** : No, Sir

 **Dumbass** : nope

 **PumpedUpKix** : no, sir

 **Rex’s Favourite** : no, sir

 **parSNIPS** : No I have not

 **Skyguy** : I might have done…

 **Skyguy** : why?

 **REXtra** : (Screenshot_20200512_134309)

 **Tupperware** : is…is he okay?

 **REXtra** : …

 **REXtra** : I am not sure

 **REXtra** : I don’t think so

* * *

**Kote** : what do I do?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : about what?

 **Kote** : about Kenobi

 **Yoda Impersonator** : what about him?

 **Kote** : he keeps looking at me

 **Froggo** : looking at you how

 **Kote** : I don’t know

 **Kote** : but its not normal

 **Yoda Impersonator** : define not normal

 **Kote** : he keeps looking at he out of the corner of his eye, looking away when I looked back

 **Froggo** : you think this has something to do with letter you sent him

 **Kote** : FOR THE LAST TIME. I. DID. NOT. SEND. THAT. LETTER!

 **You Poor Thing** : what letter?

 **Kote** : Dear Obi-Wan,

Will you be the peanut butter to my jelly

Will you be the butterflies I feel in my belly

If you are my general

Can I be your first mate

Will you be the chills that I feel on our first date

Will you be my hero

So I can be your sidekick

Will you be the tear that I cry if we ever split

Will you be the rain from the cloud when its storming

And will you be the sun when it shines in the morning?

Will you be the prince so I can be the princess

Will be the sweet tooth so I can be the dentist

Will you be the shoes so I can be the laces

Will you be the heart that I spill on the pages

Will be the vodka so I can be the chaser

Will you be the pencil so I can be the paper?

You can be as cold as the winter weather

But I don’t care as long as we’re together

Cause you’re the apple to my pie

You’re the straw to my berry

You’re the smoke to my high

You’re the one I want to marry

Cause you’re the one for me

And I’d like to think that I’m the one for you

If you take the both the both of us

Then we’d be the perfect two

I love you!

Forever yours,

Cody

xx 

**You Poor Thing** : ouch. Damn. I think that embarrassment is worse than me having my spare eye stolen

 **Froggo** : I would love to help you brother, but this sounds like a you problem

 **Kote** : kriff you Ponds

 **Froggo** : you’re welcome

 **Yoda Impersonator** : maybe we should bring @Bly Bly Butterfly into this

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : why me?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : coz you have the experience

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : with what!?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : with _LOVE_

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : yeah?

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : and who would I have experience with that with?

 **Yoda Impersonator** : General Secura, obviously

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : hey, how did you know about that!

 **Yoda Impersonator** : tut tut tut Bly. You should be more careful. I have been two places in my life, Kamino and Coruscant, and even I know.

 **Kote** : can we get back to the point please

 **Kote** : WHAT DO I DO?

 **You Poor Thing** : oh Kot’ika. You run. You hide. And you pray he doesn’t find you

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : Wolffe!

 **Bly Bly Butterfly** : Don’t listen to him Kot’ika. You should just talk to him about it.

 **Kote** : HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO DO THAT! WHAT AM I SUPPOSED TO SAY!

 **Kote** : hey, general. Can I have a word please? Its about that letter you got. It had my name on the bottom but it was sent by someone in the 501st *cough, Jesse, cough* as part of a game of truth or dare. Not the way I would have done it. But I do really, really like you in a way I most definitely should not. I’m sorry please don’t hate me, kill me, demote me or send me back to Kamino. But please, please either stop staring at me or tell me why you keep staring at me. Oh, did I mention that I didn’t send it and that I really, really like you.

 **You Poor Thing** : oh, yeah. That’ll do it heheheheheh

 **Kote** : why are you laughing like that?

 **Kote** : it’s creepy

 **General Kenobi** : he’s laughing, Cody, because he finds it funny that you 1) don’t read earlier messages in the chat and 2) because you most likely gave him the most exciting blackmail material he’s had in a while

 **Kote** : ah, when did you get here!?

 **Kote** : um, I mean. Hello General, Sir. Is there anything we can do for you?

 **General Kenobi** : well, I suppose there is something you could for me

 **General Kenobi** : I believe there is something me need to discuss, Cody

 **Froggo** : wwwwwwwwoooooooooohhhhhhhhh! Kote is getting LAID!

 **Kote** : shut up

* * *

**REXtra** : never mind. I found him. He seems to have had sorted himself out. Sort of. He currently looks like a tomato and wont look at any one. 


	6. Chapter  Six

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey People  
> Sorry for the long wait, I am currently on holiday with my family and haven't had much time, plus it took me a while to come up with the names. Another chapter is on it's way soon where they will play would you rather (I promise).  
> Hope you enjoy  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Dumbass2** : hey, does anyone wanna play a game?

 **Rex’s Favourite** : aren’t we already playing truth or dare?

 **Dumbass2** : yeah… but we could play with other people from other battalions too…

 **Dumbass** : that sounds like fun, I’m in!

 **PartyPooper** : well, considering you are the only other one who thinks it’s a good idea. You can make the group Fives

 **PartyPooper** : and I don’t want any involvement in it

 **Dumbass** : okay, I’ll make the chat

* * *

**ARC-5555** _created a group chat_

**ARC-5555** _changed the group chat name to_ **Everyone for themselves**

**ARC-5555** _added_ **CT-7567** _,_ **ARC-1409** _,_ **CT-5597** _,_ **CT-6116** _,_ **CT-5385** _,_ **CT-8008** _,_

**CT-9643** _,_ **CT-3498** _,_ **CT-6211** _,_ **CT-0906** _,_ **CT-4578** _,_ **CT-8177** _,_ **CT-3330** _,_ **CT-7876** _,_

**CC-2224** _,_ **CC-3636** _,_ **CC-5052** _,_ **CC-6454** _,_ **CC-1010** _,_ **Commander Tano** _,_ **General Skywalker** _,_ **General Kenobi** _,_ **General Koon** _,_ **General Yoda** _,_ **General Fisto** _,_ **General Secura** _,_ **General Windu** _,_ **General Vos**

**CT-9643** : I SAID I DIDN’T WANT ANY PART IN THIS!

 **ARC-5555** : I know, but I wanted to see your reaction to the commanders and generals’ reaction to your reaction to me adding you to the group

 **CT-5597** : damn that was a mouthful

 **CT-9643** : there are commanding officers in this chat?

 **ARC-5555** : oh, yeah. But luckily for you, they’ve not read the messages yet

 **CC-1010** : I have. I just don’t care

 **CT-5597** : can this be a rank free zone, please?

 **CC-1010** : sure, whatever. Cool with me

 **CT-5597** : yay! I’m changing the names, the numbers are offending my brain

**CT-5597** _changed their name to_ **Jesse**

**Jesse** _changed_ **ARC-5555** _to_ **High Fives**

**Jesse** _changed_ **ARC-1409** _to_ **Echo(Echo)((Echo))**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-7567** _to_ **Rexy**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-6116** _to_ **Scary**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-5385** _to_ **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-8008** _to_ **CardHase**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-9643** _to_ **No One Likes You**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-3498** _to_ **Sinking**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-6211** _to_ **Booster**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-0906** _to_ **I Like Stars**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-4578** _to_ **Oh No The Fire’s Spreading**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-3330** _to_ **Wax On Wax Off**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-8177** _to_ **Pumba**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-4152** _to_ **Boiler Inspector**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CT-7876** _to_ **Bah Bah**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CC-2224** _to_ **Gay For General**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CC-3636** _to_ **Fives Is Sorry?**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CC-5052** _to_ **Straight For General**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CC-6454** _to_ **Ribbit**

**Jesse** _changed_ **CC-1010** _to_ **The Resident Alcoholic**

**Jesse** _changed_ **Commander Tano** _to_ **Everyone’s Favourite**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Skywalker** _to_ **Dangerous**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Kenobi** _to_ **Badass**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Koon** _to_ **Wolffe’s Dad**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Yoda** _to_ **The Respected One**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Fisto** _to_ **Tentacles**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Secura** _to_ **Bly’s**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Windu** _to_ **Intruder Windu**

**Jesse** _changed_ **General Vos** _to_ **Skywalker Jr**

**Gay For General** _changed_ **Jesse** _to_ **Jessica**

**Jessica** : Okay, I deserved that.

 **Fives Is Sorry** : If you give my eye back and clear up the paint on the wall, I suppose you can be forgiven.

 **The Resident Alcoholic:** Roll Call!

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : Fox

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : Ahsoka

 **Rexy** : Rex

 **The Respected One** : Yoda, I am

 **Jessica** : Jesse

 **Scary** : Kix. Although, I’m not sure why I’m scary

 **Skywalker Jr** : Vos

 **Gay For General** : Cody

 **Dangerous** : Anakin

 **Badass** : Kenobi

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : Plo

 **Tentacles** : Kit

 **Bly’s** : Aalya

 **Straight For General** : Bly

 **Dangerous** : because that’s not confusing

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : Tup!

 **Wax On Wax Off** : Waxer

 **No One Likes You** : Dogma :(

 **Intruder Windu** : Mace :(

 **Ribbit** : Ponds :(

 **Cardhase** : Hardcase :)

 **Pumba** : Worthog

 **Fives Is Sorry** : Wolffe

 **High Fives** : is he tho

 **Fives Is Sorry** : is who what?

 **High Fives** : Fives, and, sorry

 **Boiler Inspector** : Boil

 **Fives Is Sorry** : Well, I’d like to think so. Otherwise I’d kill him

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : Wildfire

 **High Fives** : he is sorry

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : Echo

 **Sinking** : Sinker

 **Fives Is Sorry** : good

 **I Like Stars** : Comet

 **Fives Is Sorry** : Wolffe

 **Bah Bah** : Wooley

 **Booster** : Boost

 **High Fives** : Fives

 **CardHase** : now that everyone is here we can play the game

 **Gay For General** : it had better not be truth or dare hardcase

 **Cardhase** : no, it is not

 **CardHase** : it is would you rather

**  
Echo(Echo)((Echo))** _,_ **Rexy** _,_ **Scary** _,_ **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** _,_

**No One Likes You** _,_ **Sinking** _,_ **Booster** _,_ **I Like Stars** _,_ **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** _,_ **Wax On Wax Off** _,_ **Pumba** _,_ **Boiler Inspector** _,_ **Bah Bah** _,_ **Gay For General** _,_

**Fives Is Sorry** _,_ **Straight For General** _,_ **Ribbit** _,_ **The Resident Alcoholic** _,_

**Everyone’s Favourite** _,_ **Badass** _,_ **Wolffe’s Dad** _,_ **Tentacles** _,_ **Bly’s** _,_

**The Respected One** _,_ **Intruder Windu** _,_ **Jessica** _are now offline_

**Cardhase** : um…

 **Cardhase** : does that mean none of you want to play?

 **Cardhase** : oh, general Skywalker, general Vos. You’re still here! Does this mean you’re playing?

 **Skywalker Jr** : sorry mate, not if no one else is playing

 **Cardhase** : general?

 **Dangerous** : sorry Hardcase. I have this important thing that I need to do. Its really important and it must be done immediately. I promise I will find a way to make everyone play next time

 **Cardhase** : okay… :(


	7. Chapter Seven: Part One

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone  
> Here's the next chapter  
> Hope you enjoy  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

**Dangerous** : okay @High Fives, @Echo(Echo)((Echo)), @Rexy, @Scary, @Teeny Tiny Tup’ika, @No One Likes You, @Sinking, @Booster, @I Like Stars, @Oh No The Fire Is Spreading, @Wax On Wax Off, @Pumba, @Boiler Inspector, @Bah Bah, @Gay For General, @Fives Is Sorry?, @Straight For General, @Jessica, @Badass, @Ribbit, @The Resident Alcoholic, @Everyone’s Favourite, @Dangerous, @Wolffe’s Dad, @The Respected One, @Tentacles, @Bly’s, @Intruder Windu, @Skywalker Jr. You are here by ordered to attend a mandatory ‘Would You Rather Game’ requested by @Cardhase.

 **The Respected One** : Tagged yourself, you did. Caffeine, have you had, young Skywalker?

 **Dangerous** : sssshhhhhhhh, no ones supposed to know.

 **Dangerous** : and besides, I have to attend the mandatory ‘Would You Rather Game’ as well

 **Badass** : and you can’t order other Jedi, Anakin

 **Dangerous** : no, your right. I cant. But her can

 **Intruder Windu** : who can?

 **The Respected One** : order you, I can. Order you, I do. Play game, we must. promise to keep, there is

 **Cardhase** : thank you, general!

 **Scary** : *sigh*, fine. Who’s going first?

 **High Fives** : srsly, why do people keep spelling *Sigh* ?

 **Jessica** : Hardcase can, it was his idea

 **Cardhase** : okay

 **Cardhase** : Would you rather have one nipple or two belly buttons?

 **Gay For General** : what the hell kinda question is that

 **Dangerous** : just answer it Cody

 **High Fives** : I will! I choose…

 **High Fives** : two belly buttons

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : two belly buttons, I feel like its less weird

 **Jessica** : one nipple

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : two belly buttons

 **Gay For General** : one nipple

 **Rexy** : two belly buttons

 **Scary** : I don’t like either of those options

 **Cardhase** : pwease will you answer the question ori’vod

 **Scary** : fine, just for you case’ika

 **Cardhase** : yay!

 **Booster** : I thought you guys were the same age?

 **Cardhase** : no, Kix is a week older than me.

 **Scary** : I suppose out of the two, it would have to be two belly buttons. Like Echo said, it sounds less weird

 **No One Likes You** : I am not going to be pressured into this like Kix, so I shall answer willingly, I will not be seen as weak. I chose, one nipple

 **Booster** : one nipple

 **Sinking** : two belly buttons

 **I Like Stars** : one nipple

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : one nipple

 **Wax On wax Off** : two belly buttons

 **Boiler** : two belly buttons

 **Pumba** : one nipple

 **Dangerous** : one nipple

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : two belly buttons

 **Badass** : two belly buttons

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : one nipple

 **The Respected One** : one nipple

 **Intruder Windu** : do I have to answer it

 **The Respected One** : answer it, you must

 **Intruder Windu** : Fine. Two belly buttons

 **Bly’s** : two belly buttons

 **Tentacles** : one nipple

 **Skywalker Jr** : one nipple

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : one nipple

 **Ribbit** : two belly buttons

 **Fives Is Sorry** : two belly buttons

 **Jessica** : would you rather have a nickname given to you by me or keep your number?

 **High Fives** : you

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : you

 **Rexy** : you

 **Scary** : you

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : you

 **Cardhase** : you

 **No One Likes You** : number

 **Jessica** : hey!

 **No One Likes You** : ß need I say anything else?

 **Sinker** : ^

 **Jessica** : fair

 **Booster** : you

 **Jessica** : thank you!

 **I Like Stars** : you

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : you

 **Pumba** : you

 **Wax On Wax Off** : you

 **Boiler Inspector** : you

 **Bah Bah** : number

 **Gay For General** : you

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : number

 **Straight For General** : you

 **Ribbit** : you

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : number

 **Badass** : I think it is shocking how many of you picked Jesse to give you names given how ridiculous and insulting your current ones are

 **Scary** : apparently its called ‘brotherly love’ or so I am told

 **Jessica** : hey, whats that supposed to mean?

 **Scary** : *shrugs*

 **High Fives** : I am getting really annoyed with this now. Why could you not have just said you didn’t know, or that you don’t want to answer. Why did you have to write *shrugs*?

 **Dangerous** : I’ll go next

 **Dangerous** : would you rather be killed by a Sith or by Palpatine?

 **High Fives** : no

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : no

 **Rexy** : no

 **Scary** : no

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : no

 **Cardhase** : no

 **No One Likes You** : no

 **Sinking** : no

 **Booster** : no

 **I Like Stars** : no

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : no

 **Jessica** : no

 **Wax On Wax Off** : no

 **Pumba** : no

 **Boiler Inspector** : no

 **Bah Bah** : no

 **Gay For General** : no

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : no

 **Straight For General** : no

 **Ribbit** : no

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : there’s a difference?

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : huh?

 **Dangerous** : Ex-Cu-Se ME? Mr The Resident Alcoholic, there is a difference

 **Obi-Wan** : are you sure?

 **Dangerous** : yes… no… maybe?...

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : um… okay…

 **The Respected One** : Have Something to tell us, do you? Mr The Resident Alcoholic?

 **The Resident Alcoholic** :…

 **Tentacles** : ?

 **Bly’s** : do all of you think that?

 **Skywalker Jr** : well obviously they do, otherwise they wouldn’t have answered the way they did

 **Intruder Windu** : he has a point

 **Dangerous** : …


	8. Chapter Seven Part Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Everyone,  
> Sorry it took so long to get this up  
> I hope you all enjoy!  
> Stefina Queen xoxo

**Dangerous** : anyway… moving swiftly on…

 **Dangerous** : who wants to ask the next question

 **Bah Bah** : Can I ask it please?

 **Badass** : of course you can Wooley

 **Bah Bah** : Would you rather be a Sith Lord or a Battle Droid?

 **High Fives** : Sith Lord

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : oh, you would pick that, wouldn’t you?

 **High Fives** : yeah, and what would you pick?

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : Battle droid

 **Rexy** : Battle droid

 **Scary** : Sith lord

 **Rexy** : figures

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : I choose battle droid. They aren’t really evil; they just do as they are programed to. We can’t hold that against them, really.

 **Dangerous** : ooooo, look at you Tup. Taking the philiofical approach

 **Badass** : most of the time, I pride myself on my work. And most of the time, I am proud of the way you turn out. I however, do not, will know and don’t ever want to, take credit for whatever that monstrosity is Anakin.

 **Bly’s** : you mean, his spelling?

 **Badass** : yes… among other things

 **Dangerous** : what s that supposed to mean?

 **Badass** : I’ll tell you when you’re older

 **Cardhase** : Sith Lord

 **Dangerous** : what?

 **Cardhase** : the question, I answered it.

 **Dangerous** : oh, right, yeah, carry on

 **No One Likes You** :

 **Rexy** : okay, moving on…

 **Sinking** : Clanker!

 **Booster** : Clanker!!

 **I Like Stars** : battle droid

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : Sith lord

 **Jessica** : sith lord too

 **Wax On Wax Off** : sith lord three

 **Boiler Inspector** : sith lord four

 **Pumba** : battle droid

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : hey, you ruined the pattern :(

 **Gay For General** : sith lord

 **Jessica** : whooh! Go Commander Cody!

 **Gay For General** : Jesse…

 **Jessica** : sorry

 **Gay For General** : carry on

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : battle droid

 **Straight For General** : battle droid

 **Ribbit** : battle droid

 **High Fives** : is no one going to comment on how Commander Wolffe answered without being told he had to?

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : don’t push it trooper

 **High Fives** : yes, boss. Sorry, boss

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : me choosing lord of sith. U couwol do whatever I wanted then. Tweseen.!

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : can… we… you know… not… commit treason…?

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : I naje mo peomiesed

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : im not even going to try to understand what you just wrote

 **Skywalker Jr** : I believe he said he isn’t going to make any promises

 **Rexy** : …

 **The Favourite** : I CHOOSE BATTLE DROID!

 **Dangerous** : snips… what was that?

 **The Favourite** : just trying to defuse the tension

 **The Favourite** : who’s next?

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : battle droid

 **Dangerous** : sith lord

 **The Respected One** : Sith Lord, I choose

 **Tentecles** : Sith Lord

 **Bly’s** : battle droid

 **Intruder Windu** : Sith Lord

 **Skywalker Jr** : sith lord!

 **Badass** : Sith Lord

 **I Like Stars** : I think its shocking how many of you Jetii chose to be darjetii over a clanker

 **The Respected One** : talk about it, we do not.

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : I have a question

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : would you rather know the history of every object you touch or be able to talk to animals

 **High Fives** : talk to animals

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : history of objects

 **Rexy** : history of objects

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : talk to animals

 **Cardhase** : talk to animals

 **No One Like You** : history of objects

 **Sinking** : talk to animals

 **Booster** : talk to animals

 **I like Stars** : history of objects

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : talk to animals

 **Jessica** : talk to animals

 **Pumba** : history of objects

 **Wax On Wax Off** : talk to animals

 **Boiler Inspector** : I think, ill go with the history of objects

 **Bah Bah** : what he said

 **Gay For General** : talk to animals

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : history of objects

 **Straight For General** : history of objects

 **Ribbit** : history of objects

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : history of objects

 **The Favourite** : talk to animals

 **Dangerous** : talk to animals

 **Badass** : talk to animals

 **Tentacles** : history of objects

 **Bly’s** : talk to animals

 **Skywalker Jr** : talk to animals

 **Intruder Windu** : talk to animals

 **Dangerous** : how did we manage to dothast without inturupting each other?

 **Badass** : can you like get auto-correct or something?

 **Dangerous** : no I can not

 **Intruder Windu** : we didn’t get through everyone without interrupting each other

 **Dangerous** : we didn’t?

 **Intruder Windu** : master yoda still has to give his answer, but YOU interrupted him

 **Badass** : *folds arms and rolls eyes*

 **Dangerous** : hey, you inturuppted him too

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : ladies, ladies, please. There’s no need to bicker

 **Dangerous** : ????????????????

 **Badass** : *Visible confusion*

 **The Respected One** : Starfish, I am 


	9. Chapter Eight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone.  
> Thank you for being so patient with me.  
> Here's the next chapter.  
> I hope you enjoy!  
> Stefinia Queen xoxo
> 
> P.s. If you have forgotten and/or are confused about who is who, here is a list for all you lovely people to clear that up.  
> Fives – High Fives  
> Rex – Rexy  
> Echo – Echo(Echo)((Echo))  
> Jesse – Jessica  
> Kix – Scary  
> Tup – Teeny Tiny Tup’ika  
> Hardcase – CardHase  
> Dogma – No One Like You  
> Sinker – Sinking  
> Boost – Booster  
> Comet – I Like Stars  
> Wildfire – Oh No The Fire Is Spreading  
> Waxer – Wax On Wax Off  
> Boil – Boiler Inspector  
> Warthog – Pumba  
> Wooley – Bah Bah  
> Cody – Gay For General  
> Wolffe – Fives Is Sorry?  
> Bly – Straight For General  
> Ponds – Ribbit  
> Fox – The Resident Alcoholic  
> Ahsoka – Everyone’s Favourite  
> Anakin – Dangerous  
> Obi-Wan – Badass  
> Plo – Wolffe’s Dad  
> Yoda – The Respected One  
> Kit Fisto – Tentacles  
> Aalya – Bly’s  
> Mace Windu – Intruder Windu  
> Vos – Skywalker Jr

**Unknown 1** : Blimey, it’s like This Is Your Life.

 **Unknown 1** : Tea!

 **Unknown 1** : That’s all I needed, a good cup of tea!

 **Unknown 1** : Superheated infusion of free radicals and tannin.

 **Unknown 1** : Just the thing for healing the synapses.

 **Unknown 1** : Now, first thing’s first. Be honest, how do I look?

 **Unknown 2** : I can’t see, we’re in a chat.

 **Unknown 1** : Alright then, I’ll just go and look in a mirror then. 

**Unknown 1** : I wanted to be ginger. 

**Unknown 1** : I’ve never been ginger. 

**Unknown 1** : And you, Clara, fat lot of good you were. 

**Unknown 1** : You gave up on me. 

**Unknown 1** : Oh, that’s rude. 

**Unknown 1** : That’s the sort of man I am now, am I? 

**Unknown 1** : Rude.

 **Badass** : If I might interrupt.

 **Unknown 1** : Yes, sorry. Hello, big fellow.

 **Badass** : Who exactly are you?

 **Unknown 1** : Well, that’s the question.

 **Dangerous** : We demand to know who you are!

 **Unknown 1** : I DON’T KNOW! 

**Unknown 1** : See, here’s the thing. I’m the Doctor, but beyond that, I just don’t know.

 **Unknown 1** : I literally do not know who I am. 

**Unknown 1** : It’s all untested. 

**Unknown 1** : Am I funny? 

**Unknown 1** : Am I sarcastic? 

**Unknown 1** : Sexy? 

**Unknown 1** : Right old misery? 

**Unknown 1** : Life and soul? 

**Unknown 1** : Right handed? 

**Unknown 1** : Left handed? 

**Unknown 1** : A gambler? 

**Unknown 1** : A fighter? 

**Unknown 1** : A coward? 

**Unknown 1** : A traitor? 

**Unknown 1** : A liar? 

**Unknown 1** : A nervous wreck? 

**Unknown 1** : I mean, judging by the evidence, I’ve certainly got a gob. 

**Unknown 1** : And how am I going to react when I see this, a great big threatening button. 

**Unknown 1** : A great big threatening button which must not be pressed under any circumstances, am I right?

 **Unknown 2** : Doctor, no one can see what you can. 

**Unknown 2** : We are in a chat.

 **Unknown 1** : Let me guess. It’s some sort of control matrix? 

**Unknown 1** : Hold on, what’s feeding it? 

**Unknown 1** : Blood? 

**Unknown 1** : Yeah, definitely blood. 

**Unknown 1** : Human blood. 

**Unknown 1** : A positive, with just a dash of iron. 

**Unknown 1** : That means blood control. 

**Unknown 1** : Blood control! I haven’t seen blood control for years. 

**Unknown 1** : They’re controlling all the A Positives. 

**High Fives** : Who is?

 **Unknown 1** : Which leaves us with a with a great big stinking problem. 

**CardHase** : What’s that?

 **Unknown 1** : Because I really don’t know who I am. 

**Unknown 1** : I don’t know when to stop. 

**Unknown 1** : So… 

**Unknown 1** : If I see a great big threatening button which should never, ever, ever be pressed, then… 

**Unknown 1** : I just want to do this.

 **Unknown 2** : You pressed it didn’t you?

 **Unknown 1** : Yep. 

**Unknown 1** : I pressed the great brig threatening button.

 **Dangerous** : Did they all die?

 **Unknown 1** : Nope. 

**Unknown 1** : They allowed them to live?

 **Badass** : Allowed?

 **Unknown 1** : Well, I was just repeating what he said.

 **Unknown 2** : What who said?

 **Unknown 1** : In reality, they had no choice. 

**Unknown 1** : I mean, that’s all blood control is. 

**Unknown 1** : A cheap bit of voodoo. 

**Unknown 1** : Scares the pants off you, but that’s as far as it goes.

 **Unknown 1** : It’s like hypnosis. 

**Unknown 1** : You can hypnotise someone to walk like a chicken, or sing like Elvis?

 **Wax On Wax Off** : What’s an Elvis?

 **Unknown 1** : But you can’t hypnotise them to death. 

**Unknown 1** : Survival instinct’s too strong.

 **The Respected One** : …

 **Unknown 1** : Well, yeah, you could do that, of course you could. 

**Jessica** : Do what?

 **Unknown 1** : But why? 

**Unknown 1** : Look at all these people.

 **Sinking** : What People?

 **Unknown 2** : I don’t think he realises he’s still typing in the chat.

 **Unknown 1** : These human beings. 

**Gay For General** : Does he do that often?

 **Unknown 1** : Consider their potential.

 **Unknown 2** : Yeah, he does get like that sometimes.

 **Unknown 1** : From the day they arrive on the planet and blinking step into the sun, there’s more to see than can ever be seen, more to do than. 

**Unknown 1** : No, hold on. 

**Unknown 1** : Sorry, that’s The Lion King. 

**Pumba** : What’s The Lion King?

 **Unknown 1** : But the point still stands. 

**Unknown 1** : Leave them alone! 

**Boiler Inspector** : Leave who alone?

 **Unknown 1** : Or

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : Or…

 **Rexy** : No, Fox. Not you too

 **Unknown 1** : I challenge you. 

**Booster** : Challenge?

 **Unknown 2** : Doctor, what are doing?

 **Unknown 2** : Where are you?

 **Unknown 1** : That struck a chord. 

**Unknown 1** : Am I right that the sanctified rules of combat still apply? 

**Unknown 1** : Thank you. I’ve no idea who I am, but you just summed me up.

 **Unknown 1** : So, you accept my challenge? 

**Unknown 1** : Or are you just a cranak pel casacree salvak?

 **Bah Bah** : A what?

 **Unknown 1** : For the planet.

 **Unknown 2** : Oh, no.

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : Oh, no?

 **Unknown 2** : He has this habit of going “There’s something that doesn’t make sense. Let’s go and poke it with a stick!”

 **Badass:** Ah, I know that feeling. Someone I know also has a habit of doing that.

 **Dangerous** : What, and you don’t?

 **Unknown 1** : Hello again!

 **Intruder Windu** : There is an intruder in this chat!

 **Unknown 1** : How did he get in?

 **Unknown 2** : Doctor, no.

 **Unknown 1** : In-tru-da window!

 **Jessica** : hahahahahahahahah

 **Intruder Windu** : Trooper!

 **Unknown 1** : Hang on a second.

 **Unknown 1** : @Wax On Wax Off you know what Karate Kid is, but you don’t know who Elvis is?

 **Wax On Wax Off** : What’s Karate Kid?

 **Unknown 1** : Your nickname.

 **Unknown 1** : It’s a reference to the Karate Kid film.

 **Wax On Wax Off** : What’s a film?

 **Unknown 1** : Really!?

 **Unknown 1** : Where are you lot any way, and how did we get in your chat?

 **Unknown 1** : What galaxy are you in?

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : It’s just called The Galaxy. I suppose it doesn’t really have a name.

 **Unknown 1** : Oh, I see. No, I get it now. I understand.

 **Badass** : Well, I’m glad someone here does. Who are you again?

 **Unknown 1** : I’m The Doctor. I’m a Timelord. I’m from the planet Galifrey in the constellation of Kasterborus. I am nine hundred and three years old. And I’m the one who’s going to save your lives. You got a problem with that?

 **Unknown 2** : Nine hundred and three? You wish, you’re at least twelve hundred and something.

 **Unknown 1** : Oi!

 **Unknown 1** : Oh, and this is Clara Oswald.

 **Unknown 1** : She’s human.

 **Unknown 2** : Hi.

**Jessica** _changed_ **Unknown 1** _to_ **The Doctor**

 **Jessica** _changed_ **Unknown 2** _to_ **Clara Oswald**

**Jessica** : There, that’s better.

 **CardHase** : Wait. Doctor who?

 **The Doctor** : It’s just The Doctor. I chose it when I ran away from my home planet.

 **The Doctor** : now you know who we are. Who are you lot. Let’s start with names, species and gender (If you have one), shall we?

 **The Doctor** : Preferably alphabetical, if possible. I’m slightly OCD.

 **Bly’s** : Aalya Secura, Twi’lek, female

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : Ahsoka Tano, Togruta, female

 **Dangerous** : Anakin Skywalker, Human, male

 **Straight For General** : Bly, Clone, male

 **Boiler Inspector** : Boil, Clone, male

 **Booster** : Boost, Clone, male

 **Gay For General** : Cody, Clone, male

 **I Like Stars** : Comet, Clone, male

 **No One Likes You** : Dogma, Clone, male

 **Echo(Echo)((Echo))** : Echo, Clone, male

 **High Fives** : Fives, Clone, male

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : Fox, Clone, male

 **CardHase** : Hardcase, Clone, male

 **Jessica** : Jesse, Clone, male

 **Tentacles** : Kit Fisto, Nautolan, male

 **Scary** : Kix, Clone, male

 **Intruder Windu** : Mace Windu, Human, male

 **Badass** : Obi-Wan Kenobi, Human, male

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : Plo Koon, Kel Dor, male

 **Ribbit** : Ponds, Clone, male

 **Skywalker Jr** : Quinlan Vos, Human, male

 **Rexy** : Rex, Clone, male

 **Sinking** : Sinker, Clone, male

 **Teeny Tiny Tup’ika** : Tup, Clone, male

 **Pumba** : Warthog, Clone, male

 **Wax On Wax Off** : Waxer, Clone, male

 **Oh No The Fire Is Spreading** : Wildfire, Clone, male

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : Wolffe, Clone, male

 **Bah Bah** : Wooley, Clone, male

 **The Respected One** : Yoda

 **The Doctor** : Great! Lovely to meet you all!

 **The Doctor** : Yoda, I noticed you didn’t give your species. Don’t mean to offend you, just wondering, is there any particular reason for it? Only two girls!?

 **The Respected One** : Yoda, I am. Important, my species is not.

 **The Doctor** : Right.

 **The Doctor** : Well, then. I can’t help but notice, most of you put ‘Clone’ as your species. I know a clone, funny little thing.

 **Unknown 3** : Sir, I am not funny.

 **The Doctor** : Stax! When did you get there? How long have you been there?

 **Unknown 3** : The whole time, Sir.

 **Unknown 3** : Can we leave no, Sir?

 **The Doctor** : No, I was just getting to know this lovely lot.

 **Unknown 3** : Sir, permission to express my opposition to your current apathy?

 **The Doctor** : Permission granted.

 **Unknown 3** : I am opposed to your current apathy.

 **The Doctor** : Thank you, Strax. If I am ever in need of advice from a psychotic potato dwarf, you’ll certainly be the first to know.

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : @Unknown 3 ‘psychotic potato dwarf?

 **Unknown 3** : Silence, boy!

 **The Doctor** : That’s Strax. And as you can see, he’s easily confused.

 **Unknown 3** : Silence, girl. Sorry, lad.

 **The Doctor** : Sontaran. Clone warrior race. Factory Produced, whole legions at a time. Two genders is a bit further than he can count.

 **Unknown 3** : Sir, do not discuss my reproductive cycle in front of enemy girls.

 **CardHase** : It’s okay Strax. We’re clones bread for war too

 **Jessica** : I think you mean bred, not bread. The first one is reared in a specified environment or way. The second one is something you eat.

**Jessica** _changed_ **Unknown 3** _to_ **Strax**

 **The Doctor** : Strax gave his life for a friend of mine once.

 **CardHase** : Then how come he’s alive?

 **The Doctor** : Another friend of mine bought him back. I’m not sure all his brains made the return trip.

 **Clara Oswald** : Neither am I. One time he tried to make me wash in water that he was using to mop the kitchen floor after he had washed in it himself!

 **High Fives** : That is funny.

 **The Doctor** : I quite like to fancy myself as a bit of a Sherlock Holmes. Anyone want a go; I can tell all about your life just from your name?

**CardHase** : Me! Me! Do me!

 **CardHase** : Please

 **The Doctor** : Okay, I can see from your name, you have an apple tree and a wife with a limp. Am I right?

 **CardHase** : no

 **The Doctor** : Do you have wife?

 **CardHase** : no

 **The Doctor** : Bit of a tree?

 **The Doctor** : Bit of a wife?

 **The Doctor** : Some apples?

 **The Doctor** : Come on, work with me here.

 **CardHase** : no.

 **Scary** : how can you have a bit of a wife?

 **Badass** : um… why don’t you ask Anakin

 **Dangerous** : what would I know about having a bit of a wife? What would I know about having a whole wife?

 **The Doctor** : You, there @Dangerous. Do you have a goldfish named Colin?

 **Dangerous** : how did you know?

 **The Doctor** : Coz, I’m very clever.

 **Clara Oswald** : He didn’t know. It was a guess.

 **The Doctor** : Oi! It was a very good guess.

 **Strax** : Sir?

 **The Doctor** : Strax! Your back!

 **Strax** : I was just speaking about our predicament.

 **The Doctor** : And?

 **Strax** : Madame Vastra wondered if you were needing any grenades?

 **CardHase** : Grenades!? :)

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : No. Hardcase, no.

 **CardHase** : Aww. You’re no fun.

 **The Doctor** : Grenades?

 **Strax** : she might have said help.

 **The Doctor** : Help for what?

 **Strax** : with your investigation.

 **The Doctor** : Investigation?

 **The Doctor** : Who says I’m investigating?

 **The Doctor** : Do you think I’m going to start investigating just because we ended up in some chat group from another galaxy which is currently at war. Which they’re using tin cans and glow sticks to fight it?

 **The Doctor** : Who do you think I am?

 **Strax** : Sherlock Holmes

 **The Doctor** : Don’t be clever, Strax. It doesn’t suit you.

 **Strax** : sorry, Sir

 **The Doctor** : I’m the clever one, you’re the potato one.

 **Strax** : Yes, Sir

 **The Doctor** : Now go away, maybe you could get Vastra or Jenny on here. They might be some help.

 **Strax** : Yes

 **Strax** : Mister Holmes

 **The Doctor** : Oi! Shut up. You’re not clever or funny and you’ve tiny little legs.

 **The Doctor** : Where did everyone go?

 **Clara Oswald** : I think they probably had better things to do than read your ramblings.

 **Sinking** : There are a few of us still following your convocation.

 **High Fives** : You and Strax are funny, it’s really entertaining.

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : Why is a potato a potato? What even is a potato? Is a potato important to the life of the universe? What is the life of the universe? How do you define the universe? What is life? What is the meaning of life, other than the empty feeling of death? Is that what a potato is, an empty feeling of death?


	10. Update

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> A lot of you have been asking about the pictures for Chapter 4. I hope you can see them now (using the link below). If not, let me know and I will try to find another way.  
> https://documentcloud.adobe.com/link/review?uri=urn:aaid:scds:US:b24132d7-f4b6-4779-a1da-02aca175c671
> 
> Stefinia Queen xoxo

Dear readers,  
Thank you all so much for all your patience and support, it's greatly appreciated. 

Fristly, I just wanted to apologise as due to an unexpected change in circumstances and my applying to uni, I will be unable to update this until Christmas.  
However, I will be working on a Christmas special! (which I shall aim to release at some point between the 24th of December and the 26th of December) 

The other thing I wanted to mention is that I am now on Instagram, Facebook and Twitter. Where, when I get them up and running, you can find the latest updates on this book and others. I aiming to keep you all as in the loop as I possibly can, but you will have to bare with me.  
At some point, you will all have the chance to have a say in the content that I add to this book as well as others in the future, this will be in the form of polls on my socials. 

To add to this, after Christmas, I will be taking requests for short stories, one shots, imagines and at some point there will be a prompt list somewhere. I will be taking requests on my socials, on here, on Wattpad, and you can also email me with requests, ideas and queries at stefiniaqueewrites@gmail.com

Here are my socials:  
Instagram @stefiniaqueen  
Twitter @StefiniaQ  
Facebook @Stefinia Queen

As always, I love reading your comments and feedback, I do try to reply to as many as I can. Thank you for you support and patience, once again. I hope you are all doing well.

Until next time!

Stefinia Queen xoxo

Badass: How was that?  
Dangerous: "Until next time!" really Master!?  
Badass: I'd like to see you do better!  
Dangerous: yeah, and if I wasn't busy  
Dangerous: doing... Stuff  
Dangerous: the I could do.  
Badsss: 🙄  
Everyone's Favourite: Only you two. I'm sure it's fine Master Kenobi  
Everyone's Favourite: Anakin, stop patronising him. You know what he's like.  
Dangerous: Fine. Okay. Whatever. I'll be in my room if anyone needs me.  
Badass: He can be so uncivilised sometimes.


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, here it is people! The Christmas Special!  
> Can I just say, that I am so grateful that you've all stuck with me through this so far and I cannot thank you all enough. This year has been incredibly difficult for all of us in more ways that one and it warms my heart to know that I could put a smile on your lovely faces!   
> Christmas is a time for family, and friends, and giving; and although this year is going to be different I would like to remind you all that it is still Christmas. You can still spend time with friends and family, I know they can't physically be there with you, you can still talk over the phone, have Christmas dinner over a zoom chat. And... at least this Christmas will be a memorable one. And for those of you that don't celebrate Christmas, well... that's one less thing for you worry about! But seriously though, whether you celebrate Christmas or not, I hope you have fun and hope I can bring a smile to your faces one last time this year.
> 
> ( I ran out of space, the rest of this message continues at the bottom )

**CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Pumba** : Its what?

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Pumba** : oh… you mean that holiday thing that people do with the tree, and the presents, and the icky hugging sappy family stuff?

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Rexy** : Okay… who gave Hardcase sugar?

 **High Fives** : for once I had nothing to do with this

 **Dangerous** : oops?

 **Badass** : Why am I not surprised?

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : Master, what did you give him?

 **Dangerous** : um… to be honest, im not entirely sure…

 **Badass** : Anakin…

 **Dangerous** : in my defence, he said please…

 **Dangerous** : and he was with me when I bought them…

 **Dangerous** : and they looked so nice…

 **Dangerous** : but I couldn’t get some for me and not any for anyone else…

 **The Respected One** : more of this sugary stuff, there is, young Skywalker?

 **Dangerous** : you’ll have to ask Hardcase… I don’t know

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **Scary** : is there something you want to say Hardcase?

 **High Fives** : yeah, actually. There is something that WE want to say.

 **High Fives** : me and Hardcase with the help of The Doctor have been working on our own version of a Christmas song, that we would like to like share with you all.

 **High Fives** : but…

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : but what?

 **High Fives** : it does require some of you to join in…

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **High Fives** : yes, yes Hardcase, im getting there!

 **High Fives** : will you please calm down!

 **CardHase** : ITs cHrIStmaS!?

 **High Fives** : no, Hardcase, im not mad at you.

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!

 **High Fives** : That’s better

 **High Fives** : now, I just need a minute to message some of you privetly and then we can begin!

 **Badass** : Have you been taking spelling lesson from Anakin?

 **High Fives** : ?

 **Dangerous** : ?

 **Badass** : It’s spelt ‘privately’, not ‘privetly’.

 **Jessica** : … anyway…

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!

**High Fives** _added_ **C3-PO** _to the group chat_

**High Fives** _added_ **R2-D2** _to the group chat_

**High Fives** : okay, and, I think we’re ready!

 **High Fives** : Hardcase, take it away!

 **CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!

 **High Fives** : that’s the wrong song, buddy. We want the other one

 **CardHase** : on the first day of Christmas, the Force gave to me a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **High Fives** : Dogma?

 **No One Likes You** : fine, but im only doing this because you said youd change my name

 **No One Likes You** : On the second day of Christmas, @R2-D2 said to me…

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **High Fives** : um… mister master general Windu, sir? Please?

 **Intruder Windu** : On the third day Christmas, a robot said to me…

 **High Fives** : yes! That was great, thank you. But maybe we could try again, with a tiny bit more colour?

 **High Fives** : no?

 **High Fives** : okay… moving on. @C3-PO youre up

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations.

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Dangerous** : on the fourth day of Christmas, the Council said to me…

 **Dangerous** : The Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : On the fifth day of Christmas, Chewbacca said to me…

 **High Fives** : oops, sorry. Gimme a sec

**High Fives** _added_ **Chewbacca** _to the group chat_

**High Fives** : carry on…

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : on the fifth day of Christmas, Chewbacca said to me…

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : The Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Deadpool** : ooooo, theres an opening, lets take it

 **Deadpool** : oooonnnnnn, tttthhhheee sixth day ooofff Chriiissstttmaaaaaaaas, Geeeooorrrgggeee Llllluuuuccccaaasssssssssss saiiiidddddd tooooo meeeeee

 **Deadpool** : that’s you, you’re up Georgy

 **George Lucas** : I really wish you wouldn’t call me that.

 **Deadpool** : oh, hush and say your line

 **George Lucas** : they’ll only be six episodes

 **Deadpool** : which we all know is lies, right? I just liked hearing him sing it.

 **CardHase** : um… what just happened?

 **High Fives** : I don’t know, but it works…

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **High Fives** : on the seventh day of Christmas, Captain Rex said to me…

 **Rexy** : Fives, I’m not doing this. Youre on sanitation duty

 **High Fives** : okay, firstly – youre a spoilt sport and secondly – but its Christmas!

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Dukoo** : on the eighth day of Christmas, my master said to me…

 **Palpatine** : Your hate will make you strong

 **Tentacles** : who invited them?

 **Deadpool** : Me! It was me! I did it!

 **High Fives** : Rex… its your turn…

 **Rexy** : Fives, I’m warning you

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Booster** : on the ninth day of Christmas,

 **Sinking** : Plo Koon said to us…

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : you matter me

 **The Respected One** : A convosation, do we need to have about attachments, Master Plo?

 **Badass** : It’s ‘Convocation’ not ‘Convosation’

 **High Fives** : can you please stop interrupting our song?

 **Sidious** : Your hate will make you strong

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : …?

 **High Fives** : Rexy, Rex Rexy Rexter… tis your turn now…

 **Rexy** : no, Fives. No

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **I Like Stars** : on the tenth day of Christmas, Commander Wolffe said to me…

 **Fives is Sorry?** : shut it shiny

 **I Like Stars** : I hurt now

 **High Fives** : not what I had in mind. But im not going to argue with you for the sake of my head.

 **CardHase** : um… now whos intturuptin the song?

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : shall we continue?

 **High Fives** : please do

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : You matter to me

 **Sidious** : your hate will make you strong

 **High Fives** : Rex, its your turn

 **High Fives** : Rex, its your turn

 **High Fives** : Rex, its your turn

 **High Fives** : Rex, its your turn

 **Rexy** : how many times do I have to say no to you, Fives?

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Gay For General** : on the eleventh day of Christmas, Obi-Wan said to me…

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : *gasp*

 **Badass** : Hello there

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : *disappointed sigh*

 **I like Stars** : um…Commander, sir…

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : shut it shiny

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : you matter to me

 **Sidious** : your hate will make you strong

 **High Fives** : Please Captain, I’m begging you, please!

 **Deadpool** : he is literally on his knees right now. In the bathroom… begging his captain… wow, how embarrassing

 **Dangerous** : I know what Fives is doing, but Mr. Pool, although I find that funny… please get your mind out of the gutter. There are children here.

 **Deadpool** : there was nothing dirty about what I just said, I was just saying what I saw. Maybe YOU’RE the one that needs to get YOUR mind out of the gutter, huh, did you think about that?

 **Everyone’s Favourite** : yeah, master. Did you think about that?

 **Dangerous** : …

 **High Fives** : @Rexy I will do anything, please!

 **Rexy** : Fine, I’ll do it next time

 **CardHase** : YAY!

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : and a pod racer in a Batuu tree

 **Straight For General** : on the twelfth day of Christmas, General Yoda said to me…

 **The Respected One** : Backwards teach you to sing, I have

 **Badass** : Hello there

 **Fives Is Sorry?** : shut it shiny

 **Wolffe’s Dad** : you matter to me

 **Sidious** : your hate will make you strong

 **Rexy** : I love Ahsoka

 **George Lucas** : there’ll only be six episodes

 **Chewbacca** : Gronnk Gronk-Gronk Groonnk

 **Dangerous** : the Force is strong in this one

 **C3-PO** : I am C3-PO, Human-Cyborg relations

 **R2-D2** : Beedle beedle boop

 **CardHase** : aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaannnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnndddddddddddddddddddddd, a pppppoooooooooooooooooooddddddddddddd rrrrrrrracerrrrrrr innnnnnnnn aaaaaa Bbbaatttuuuuuuuuuu ttttttttttttttttttttttttttrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrreeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

 **Deadpool** : and so, our favourite clones, Jedi, robots and friends gathered in the big hall which I cant for the life of me remember the name of… exchanged gifts and did all those holiday things that people do with the tree, and the presents, and the icky hugging sappy family stuff. They drank, they ate, they danced, they laughed. All in all, they had a good time. Fives even managed to get Rex and Ahsoka, Obi-Wan and Cody, and Bly and Aalya under the mistletoe. But in pairs, of course, it would have been really weird and awkward if there were six of them kissing each other at the same time under the same bit of mistletoe, itd probably be messy too… but each to their own, whatever floats your boat, as they say. Oh yeah, and Wolffe apologised to Comet, and gave him a hug, and it was cute, and I may or may not have gotten a picture. Waxer and Boil got so drunk that they passed out holding on to each other for dear life. Jessica *cough* sorry… Jesse and Hardcase horribly sung more songs while Echo and Fives pretended to be each other. I don’t know what’s worse, the fact that they did it, or the fact that people believed them despite the giant ‘5’ on Fives and the goatee, which Echo is lacking. Yoda decided not to have that talk with Plo and let him enjoy Christmas with his kids. Kix and Tup tried to replace everyone’s alcohol with water… wildfire hung them upside down from the ceiling with the help of Vos. Wooley and Worthog decided to act like a sheep and a pig, and Rex tried to keep Hardcase away from anymore sugar, to no avail. Kit Fisto and Mace Windu could be seen sitting in a dark corner, pretending they don’t exist, and Anakin is taking pictures. (He wants to remember all of this when he turns to the dark to the darkside.)

 **Dangerous** : WHAT!?

 **Deadpool** : nothing, dear. Go back to your camera.

 **Deadpool** : anyway, where was I. Oh, yes! Dogma was trying not to laugh at Sinker and Boost’s jokes, and no one knew where Fox and Ponds were. As for Dukoo and his Master, well, they made their brief appearance and you might be seeing them again (but you didn’t hear that from me).

 **The Doctor** : Come on Deadpool, I need to get you and Mr. Lucas home

 **Deadpool** : fine, but can I finish my story first?

 **The Doctor** : if you’re quick

 **Deadpool** : So, as the snow began to fall outside, covering the upper levels of croissant

 **The Doctor** : its Coruscant

 **Deadpool** : yes, yes. That’s what I said croissant.

 **Deadpool** : So, as the snow began to fall outside, covering the upper levels of croissant in cold, white fluffy stuffy stuffs, the Clone Wars were forgotten and all the worries of the universe ceased to exist for one peaceful moment. And now its time for me to end my tale, and I say to you: Merry Christmas to all, and to all a goodnight.

 **The Doctor** : that was lovely, now lets go.

**The Resident Alcoholic** : on the eleventy hundredth day of paper work, I opened this group chat…

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : I find out that my boss is a Sith Lord and nobody cares, then somebody said to me…

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : anyone…?

 **Ribbit** : 1) there are only 12 days. 2) its ‘of Christmas’ not ‘of paper work’. 3) go and get some water.

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : ribbit

**CardHase** : ITS CHRISTMAS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

* * *

**High Fives** _changed_ **No One Likes You** _to_ **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!**

**TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : when you promised you’d change my name, this is not what I had in mind…

 **High Fives** : well…

 **High Fives** : I didn’t specify to what I would change your name to

 **High Fives** : pwease will you tell the chwistmas cwaker jowkes?

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRAKER JOKES!** : FINE

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : what does santa suffer from if he gets stuck up a chimney?

 **TELL MY CHRISTAMS CRAKER JOKES!** : claustrophobia

 **TELL MY CHRSTMAS CRACKER JOKES** : what do people sing at a snowmans birthday

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : freeze a jolly good fellow

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : what do you get if you cross santa with a duck

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : a christmas quacker

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : whats the best christmas present in the world

 **TELL MY CHRISMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : a broken drum, you just cant beat it

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRSCKER JOKES!** : who hides in the bakery at Christmas

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : fives, because his jokes are terrible and no one cares

 **High Fives** : hey, no fair

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : jk, it’s a mince spy

 **TELL MY CHRISTMAS CRACKER JOKES!** : but srsly, no one cares, they’ve all left…

 **Deadpool** : I thought they were great!

 **High Fives** : thank you!

 **Deadpool** : you’re welcome

 **The Doctor** : I thought I told you that we needed to go…

 **Deadpool** : yes, yes im on my way. Don’t get your knickers in a twist

**High Fives** : whats burgundy, covered in tinsel and goes ribbit

 **High Fives** : Ponds, now that he has woken from his nap

 **Ribbit** : FFFFFFFFFFFIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIVVVVVVVVVVVVVVEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSS

 **The Resident Alcoholic** : ribbit

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much, it really means a lot to me that you have stuck with me. Stay safe this festive season, but don't be a grouch! For, as Professor Dumbledore quite rightly said: "Happiness can be found, even in the darkest of times, if one only remembers to turn on the light."   
> There's one last thing I would like to say: Merry Christmas and I will see you all in the New Year!
> 
> Stefinia Queen xoxo


End file.
